FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT AND LOSING…

So I’ve finally decided to throw in the towel and join The Posse. Yup, I’m adding the Approved List of Blogs to my site and you’ll have to surgically remove my lips from the backsides of the funniest, most prolific, brilliant contributors to the blogosphere in the world. Maybe even the universe. At least, that’s what I’ve read and By God, I’m drinking the koolaid this time.

Pass me the Vasoline, please…

I’m also going to disguise myself, change my name, and learn a second language so I can speak with a heavy accent. I want to present the approved ideas of someone else at the next Star conference. Badly.

Since I’ve had an epiphany, I’ve also decided that my life will not be complete until I actually become an FTE for either a state or federal agency. I believe it will Build Character to watch my tax dollars at work and I plan to festoon my clothing with snippets of red tape to show my support. I can’t wait to see who is put on my team this time; last time, there was someone who had never used a PC, someone who spoke no English whatsoever, and someone who had not finished one task or produced one deliverable in over 4 years. And they were inordinately gifted in comparison with the management staff.

I’ve just read about a new blog that will be devoted to Funny Stuff, but they “won’t tolerate” even subtle digs at individuals, so in keeping with that Very Poltically Correct Attitude, I’m throwing away my planned column, wherein I confess my secret desire to have Michael Bolton’s Love Child. Pity. I was going to name him after his father. “Author”. But no, that would just be tacky and unworthy of me, and of course, I’m Above That Sort of Thing.

So if this little blog entry isn’t your cup of tea, be on the lookout for my next blog “The Accidental Tourist”, wherein I show undying, committed, total support for all of the work on tours done by Persons Much Smarter Than I Am. Oh, I know the cutesy tour names will never fly with my new employers at the state or any other conservative business that takes themselves or their work seriously. It’s OK that I’d be wasting my time trying to sell them, even if there are good ideas in there, because after all, I’m used to stuff being hard. Acting as the Anti-Christ for The Posse is a tough and lonely job. There are days that even my dogs don’t love me. So it will be a relief to have my Buds on the List of Goodness to back me up this time…

Now wipe that froth off your chin and take a few cleansing breaths. I know I’m an unworthy pile of compost. I have several um…ardent… fans that write to tell me so regularly.

Have a very Fine April 1!