WHAT IF THERE REALLY IS A GOD?

I was drinking coffee this morning and found myself inexplicably thinking about industry standards. And no, there was nothing “extra” in my coffee, nor is it some sort of special ritual I go through at 5 A.M. to prepare for my day.

Have any of you ever listened to a Steve Martin comedy album? He does a bit on one of them revolving around “What if there really IS a God?”. He asks what would happen if you died and found out all the stuff you figured out was crap in college turned out to be true. That there were pearly gates, angels strumming harps on puffy clouds, St. Peter at the gate, and a big book that listed all of your transgressions.. In his words - “Oh shit...”.

So there I was, drinking my coffee, and I was wondering – what if there really ARE industry standards? What if there are best practices? What if we just don’t want to acknowledge any?

“Oh shit...”.

I’ve always believed that one size doesn’t fit all, in terms of both software methodology and testing methodologies. I’ve believed that even within one type of methodology, there are rarely “best practices”. There are only best practices for your own environment and you tend to find those out through trial and error.

But what if I’m wrong? I also believe in keeping an open mind. Sometimes we need to examine our own prejudices.

I’ve never made a study of the software industry as a whole or even come close to seriously canvassing the entire testing industry. Have you? I don’t know if 90% of us or 9% of us use test cases, for example. What if 90% of the pundits on the web are exceptions and not the norm? Since they’re often trying to sell an idea or their own services, it wouldn’t really be in their best interests to promote anything other than what they’re selling, would it?

What if 87% of our own constituency believe certification is a good thing? Or 95% of hiring organizations believe certification is a good thing? For example, I’ve always examined the efforts to break the ISTQB with a critical eye. I haven’t seen their “body of knowledge”. I don’t know what their tests are like. I don’t know if I’d agree with what they feel is important. But since I don’t know, I don’t comment. And I don’t really take the word of someone else (that’s why I’m a tester; I have to examine things myself), particularly when I do know that several of those making the attempt to topple the ISTQB want to set up their own certification in its place. Would that be any better? Or worse? Or the same? Again, I don’t know. So I stay out of it; I don’t believe I’m qualified to comment, based on what I know right now. I do know that certifications do not make someone a better tester. I have learned that through my own experience and have specific examples. That does not, however, mean the certification itself is bogus or teaches bad things. It means certification is not the way to gauge someone’s talent. I can learn a thing and pass a test – that doesn’t mean I can or will choose to apply that thing.

Maybe all of these questions have come up because of the latest flurry of point/counterpoint on metrics. I have to honestly say that I consider people who refuse to use them or recognize any value in them as incompetent, particularly if they’re at a managerial level. Why? Because you can’t function efficiently in a business context unless you’re willing and able to use metrics. To do otherwise is to seriously undermine your ability to get taken seriously or accomplish what you’d like to accomplish, including getting the attention and funding your area requires in order to get their work done. I don’t really care that one individual knows of one situation where one fool used them incorrectly. So what? Metrics are in common use across all industries, for all businesses, and all of them can be faulty and/or used incorrectly by people who either don’t know what they’re doing or who slant them for their own purposes. What I’m seeing is that there’s a focus on exceptions, rather than the common use of metrics. And anyone mentioning metrics gets questioned for details from people who have already made it clear they don’t like metrics and just want the info so they can poke holes in it and ridicule the person who provided the information. Then they’re surprised when no one provides them with details? Gads! How many times do you have to suggest that a little respect goes a long way? If you want information from someone, it behooves you not to make it so bloody clear that you’re going to punish them for providing it!

I guess what I’m saying is that the fact that any single one of us doesn’t like something doesn’t magically make that thing disappear. I hate lima beans. And yet, they still exist. I can’t understand why; it’s obvious to me they’re not suitable for human consumption and should only be used for compost.

But I’ve found myself somewhat curious about industry standards as a whole and best practices overall. Not because it will change what I’m doing in my own organization, because what we’re doing works for us. But because it would increase my understanding about what people in our field are doing generally, it might be a worthwhile exercise and spur some interesting conversations.

You know, I haven’t read any literature about stats or trends across the industry for a really long time. I think it’s because I really haven’t cared too much, and I’ve told you that I believe one size doesn’t fit all. But maybe it would behoove me to see what size fits many, if for no other reason, to assuage my curiousity. Any ideas? I had someone suggest Caper Jones; I haven’t read anything by Caper Jones for YEARS, but he has a new book out and maybe I should read it even if my reaction ends up being a gag reflex, just like lima beans…

In short, just because we want to be unique and choose to avoid the obvious, it doesn’t mean the obvious does not exist. Maybe we’re behaving like spoiled children. I don’t know. I’m just throwing it out there. I do know that I haven’t been LOOKING for industry standards, so it’s unlikely I’d find any. In fact, if an industry standard came up and slapped me upside the head, it’s likely I wouldn’t recognize it.

And who knows? Since admitting to using metrics is so unpopular right now, maybe I need to start a “Metric of the Month” to talk about what kinds of things we do here specifically, why, what it’s done (or not done) for us, and how we use it. I’ll mull it over and see if I can find a suit jacket suitable for having a large target painted on the back….